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I only called him “Master” when I wanted to fuck. Just like he only called me “baby” when we were actively playing together.“Hey there, baby,” he stood and wrapped his hands around my waist. “I heard you needed something.”“I need you, I need you right now. God, I’m so horny, Master,” I said the words as if I were talking about the weather. My head was at a downward tilt to make my eyes look more alluring.He lifted me by my hips, helping me onto the kitchen counter. I wrapped my legs around his torso, tight like a hug.“You’ve been a lot hornier lately,” he remarked, “For a while now.” He pretended to think, “You know, it started when I let my friend screw you.”I blushed. “Have I?”He grabbed my chin between his thumb and forefinger, the way he knew I liked. “Does my bitch like getting fucked by other bitches?”I bit my lip. My heart was pounding. “Uh, I might actually be super into it.”He chuckled, raising a brow. “Might?” He let go of my face, instead knotting his hand into my. "The next two are Compliments of mousepotatoesThree little old ladies are sitting on the nursing home porch talking about this and that.One holds her hands about a foot apart and says "I remember going to the store and buying cucumbers this long."Another one says, "Yeah and you could get oranges this bit around," giving a good dimension with her hands.The last little lady says, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I know who you're talking about."A bit dated but you will get the point...Raymond & Bubba, ( mechanical engineers for theState of Alabama) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.A woman walked by and asked what they were doing."We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."The woman said, "Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox." She loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement, and announced,"Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked.
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